I'd like to ask you guys for some help
sadly a couple of my questions will make no sense unless you've read the quote below, and I'd like some feedback on the basic story after that. Please continue reading
Quote:
The city of Toronto has become inhabited by the two mythical races known as the Dragoons, and the Elves. The dragoons, known for their inhuman ability to jump extreme heights, are distinguished only by their protective boots and their weapon of choice, the spear.
Being traitorous and misleading they slew dragons during the medieval ages for a price the elves thought to be robbery. The elves also appear similar to humans, only distinguishable through their pointed ears, and a slight accent. With their increased intelligence and the ability to use sorcery in a small part of the population allowed them to rid the Earth of the dragons.
The dragoons took this action as a death sentence, as the world no longer needed them and thus grew to despise the damage caused by a landing dragoon.
The dispute grew to become a war over the years, and as a last resort for the scattered dragoons, they all reside in and around the Canadian province Ontario in an attempt to try and overwhelm the expanding race of elves.
The story in a nutshell is...
Beginning (Toronto, September 2009): The main character Raiko, a dragoon, wakes up ontop of the CN tower after a night of drinking with his dragoon cousins. He gets a call from Ruggiero, A long time leader in the dragoon vs elf war calls Raiko and informs him his next objective is to kill another elf, but soon after it is revealed that the elf is merely 7 years old and was only killed because of her potential magical skills. The elves consider this extremely insulting and animal like and re-strengthen their attacks.
Middle: After Raiko runs away with his cousin Kyden feeling used and insignificant spends some time with a group of runaway dragoons and a elves. Back in Toronto 4 of the strongest elves are chosen to bear the ability to summon the 4 gods of the elven race: The fire god, Water god, Earth god, and Lightning god. A human disguised in dragoon armour like robotic suit(lets call him Kyle) decided to make a pact with the elves to steal information. It is revealed that his main objective is the have both the elves and dragoon wipe one another out and have him gain control over all 4 elven gods. Ruggiero reveals that he was made immortal over 200 years ago when the war first started in Italy but the cost of his dragoon family using elven magic made his whole family love thier lives in exchange for his immortality. He reveals that when fighting Tyne, a dragoon who finds little meaning in life and hates both dragoons and elves. They fight after Tyne returns from a dragoon mission with most of his allies dead, and the surviving one rendered blind, deaf, and in a coma.
End: Raiko returns home to find that the CN tower in Toronto has been replaced with a giant tree praised and lived inside of by elves. Many human citizens have chosen to flee from Toronto after the elves have chosen to take thier warfare out of the privacy of abandoned factories. Tyne had joined the elves after escaping from Ruggiero and completely wipes out the cannibalistic dragoon family members as he had always found them disgusting. The youngest of that family remained; 15 year old Kaspar, who then kills and consumed Tyne. Kaspar is later killed by an elf summoner. Ruggiero is killed while fighting Kyle, but manages to burn kyle within his suit and cause it to malfunction stopping him from exiting the suit and rendering it rather useless. Raiko is killed after managing to kill two of the elven summoners. Ruggiero kills the rest of the fighting elves including the summoners and unleashes his until now hidden pet dragon on the elven tree to kill any remaining elves. Ruggiero then kills his dragon so he can to his final task. He hunts down 'Kyle', breaks all of kyles limbs, renders him mute, blind, and paralyzed, then reads from an elven book he retrieved from the tree, inorder to transfer his immortality to kyle. The immortality causes Kyle to maintain his state of health untill something transfers his immortality to another being, but he will die immediately afterwards.
Only the few dragoons and elves who chose to run from the war still exist and kyle is rendered crippled for his questionably long lifetime.
Some of you guys may or (most likely) may not know about my manga idea for Flight=/=Freedom.
Recently A friend of mine who likes writing manga and to a lesser extent drawing it decided to review my manga Idea. He said that when he hears elves he think Santa's little helpers, which is not the kind of elf I'm trying to portray. When he hears dragoons he thinks of dragons, and when he hear's that they're human like, he thinks they're half dragon or something, which is not what I'm trying to get across. He suggested I change the names to something that won't give people crazy assumptions (at one point he even thought I was talking about beyblade >_<)
(btw kudos to anyone who remembers beyblade with dragoon, drigger, draseal, lmao)I also don't want people to think this is a final fantasy fan fiction...(wow that was alot of F's)
He suggested I look up something like 'mystic demigods' in another language and use that instead of elves and look up 'kings of the wind/sky' in another language and you that instead of dragoon.
Should I go with his suggestion? And should I change any other aspects of the storyline?
Please if I left anything out feel free to ask wth I was talking about
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