THE GREAT BLONDE KIDNAP:
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

This doesn't belong in the GD, kid. Should've read the rules first.

Two atoms walk into a bar and one says to the other "I think I've lost an electron." "Are you sure?" the other asks. "Yes, I'm positive!"

Two guys walk into a bar.

Wouldn't you think the second guy would've seen the first guy walk into it?

I heard protons have a mass, I didn't even know they were catholic.
-drum emote-

A man walks into a bar.

His alcoholism is destroying his family.

everything emeril legassi touches turns to shit

A man walks into the entropy bar and the bartender says "Hi, may I take your order?"

I got caught sniffing my sisters panties the other day. Whats worse is she was wearing them at the time! I tell ya, it made the rest of her funeral really awkward.

Two pretzels walking down the street--one was a salted.

Decent jokes in here, guys. Nice work.

i dont get it

Maaannnnn

did you get that from fallout 3 ._.
its one of the jokes your butler robot thing you can get tells you as are these

"I was going to attend the clairvoyant's meeting, but it was cancelled due to unforseen events."
A neutron walks into a bar "how much for a drink?" he asks. The bartender replies "For you, no charge"
"I once visited a crematorium that gave a discount to burn victims.

The atom one kodos put up is also in fallout 3