Ok, so I've been thinking of some ideas, and this one seems to have stuck with me. It's not much, so it's still a bud, but I need your guys' help to bloom this damn thing.

The tentative title is Mask Suicide, Hahaha, get the play on words there? Yeah, you get a cookie.
Anywho, I was planning this to be a sort of psychological thriller/horror. Probably more so a thriller.
I want something that will keep people sucked into the story, wanting more.




Okay, so here's what i've gotten so far:

A series of suicides start happening across the nation. Men, women and children are committing suicide, for a seemingly no reason whatsoever. The thing about all of these suicides, even though they are miles apart and weeks to months apart, they are all connected. The "victims" of these "suicides" all die while wearing a burlap sack-like material on their heads, with strange pictures and symbols on them, differing from person to person. And on each "victim" is a small piece of paper that consists of random numbers and/or letters all jumbled up.
Two detectives are assigned to this case. They each try and use their wit to conclude what the similarities between each "victim" represent.

Thats really all i've got, and I think it could go somewhere.
But, some other ideas i have are:
Who or what is causing these seemingly meaningless suicides is faintly letting the detectives know that, by small clues, they have the power to stop these things from happening, but only if they can figure out the clues.
And so the detectives start slipping into a state of depression and insanity as a result of them feeling guilty for the deaths of copious amounts of people all because of their ignorance. Just because they cannot crack the code behind these hints, and letting this person, or thing, win.



Okay guys, I really need help, comments, or suggestions on where to go with this or what to fix. I really need feedback.

Much obliged.

It certainly sounds pretty original from the get-go. The only things that spring to Reg's mind with a similar structure are the video games Silent Hill 4, or perhaps Condemmed...

If you want a perticular problem, all I can really pick out is that the case seems a little too big for just two private investigators, if that's what you were going for... Keep in mind that the FBI has as many as fifty six agents in every major american city, and you'll see why them operating with zero support is a little weird. The least corny solutions to this I can think of are as follows;

A) The "officials" are apparently involved with whatever is going on, and aren't doing anything about it. Somebody high up could be being held to ransom themselves, perhaps.

B) The "officials" are being helpful, but somehow the killer/thing has made it personal with the two main characters, who take things into their own hands.

C) The thing is sufficiently supernatural that the "officials" are following completely the wrong leads.

D) "They" think the main characters did it. The most cliche option, but... yeah.

Hope this helps. Also, Reg would tlly read this, for what it's worth. :o

I have to agree with reg on this but before you do anything come up with how the story will end (not an absolute ending but gives you something to help piece the story together bit by bit because 9/10 you will end up with a different ending thien you originally started.)

Haha, I wish I could play SH4, but the only one I really liked was Silent Hill 2. Great game. Don't know about Condemned though

Anyway,

This. You see, when i was reading it over, this sorta bugged me. I want to make it weigh on just two peoples minds, and have it seem legit, not just come out of nowhere. And that is why I like this idea:


I really want to do something like this, maybe get it so that they become emotionally attached to the case or something.
I just really need to flesh it out and see what i can come up with.
I kinda like the first idea too, maybe i can incorporate it somehow...

But, thank you Reg, Your help is very much appreciated.

And,

Thank you, I'll start to think of a rough ending...sorta. I want the pieces to fall together, not to just seem like i came up with on the flop.

I don't think just two detectives is too much of a bad idea. However, I suggest you make it so that they're the only two crazy enough to try this case, because either everyone else that tried before them are either hopelessly stumped, or, hey, ended up dead lol.

Some minor characters that play a support role is a must. Also, if you want some examples of insanely awesome thriller manga, I HIGHLY recommend Bloody Monday (season 1 or 2, but read 1 cuz it's finished) and Deathnote.