It certainly sounds pretty original from the get-go. The only things that spring to Reg's mind with a similar structure are the video games Silent Hill 4, or perhaps Condemmed...
Haha, I wish I could play SH4, but the only one I really liked was Silent Hill 2. Great game. Don't know about Condemned though
If you want a perticular problem, all I can really pick out is that the case seems a little too big for just two private investigators, if that's what you were going for... Keep in mind that the FBI has as many as fifty six agents in every major american city, and you'll see why them operating with zero support is a little weird.
This. You see, when i was reading it over, this sorta bugged me. I want to make it weigh on just two peoples minds, and have it seem legit, not just come out of nowhere. And that is why I like this idea:
B) The "officials" are being helpful, but somehow the killer/thing has made it personal with the two main characters, who take things into their own hands.
I really want to do something like this, maybe get it so that they become emotionally attached to the case or something.
I just really need to flesh it out and see what i can come up with.
I kinda like the first idea too, maybe i can incorporate it somehow...
But, thank you Reg, Your help is very much appreciated.
I have to agree with reg on this but before you do anything come up with how the story will end (not an absolute ending but gives you something to help piece the story together bit by bit because 9/10 you will end up with a different ending thien you originally started.)
Thank you, I'll start to think of a rough ending...sorta. I want the pieces to fall together, not to just seem like i came up with on the flop.