Ok I started on this comic maybe around 3 weeks ago but I haven't updated it in a while. I really wasn't planning on uploading the pages here but I'm wanting to improve. If you guys could point out
- Akward paneling
- Grammar problems
- Strange pacing
- Other strange problems

then that would be great thanks guys.











I'll still be adding more updates here too along with smackjeeves it's just that I've been kind of busy lately so updates may have to wait a while

Despite what Nedroid and Watchmen do, try not to have panels on different tiers that share the same vertical line as an edge. The reader doesn't know whether to read up or down. It works in Watchmen because all of the panels that do this usually are uniform in size and are more like a grid. It works in Nedroid and yonkoma because there are only four panels. XD

I was able to follow it easily. That might just be the fact that I read a lot of comics kicking in though.you might want to vary the art in some of your panels. It bothered me quite a bit that there's only one shot were you can see your character's feet. It's a lot of almost full bodies that end above the ankle.

Yeah listen to seefy. The second page was nigh unreadable for me. And the speech bubbles aren't shaped too poorly, but the way the words fit into them looks bad. The text should not even come close to the edge of the bubble.

Pretty good, I like your use of expressions and body language. The art is pretty solid, but it's a little sharp. You might want to draw at a higher resolution and then scale it down to avoid that. I don't mean that it should be blurry or anything, but antialiasing would look nice. What program are you using to draw this?

The paneling doesn't confuse me that much, but clearer paneling is always a plus. My inner typesetter suggest that you use Anime Ace or a similar font (any Blambot one would work well) rather than Arial -Arial doesn't really fit with the rest of your comic's theme. It's kind of a lame-ass font, you see - it tries to be edgier than Times New Roman but can't even match Trebuchet. It's a little easier to fit fonts like Anime Ace into bubbles, anyway - or at least it looks better.

Anyway, overall, nice job. Interested in seeing where it goes.

Paneling has always been my biggest challenge... thanks I'll keep this in mind when I start my next page



I do have a problem with drawing people below the ankles or whatever the reason... not only in comics but even in sketches. I'll try to add more full body shots and more interesting looking shots in panels too.



This is all because I add the speech bubbles before I add the text. Next time I'll add text before speech bubbles




Are you referring to the jaggedy look of the line art when you say that? Unless I'm misunderstanding, I can say that the jaggedy sharp look is intentional. Is the sharpness annoying to look at constantly? I don't really want to lose the jaggdy-ness though, unless of course it's annoying. I scan the pages into paint tool sai where I resize it, ink and tone it. Then I take it into photoshop for adding the text

Thanks I'll keep this in mind I'm trying to avoid rounder comic sans-ish look text since I'm more of a fan of crisper, neater looking text if you know what I mean. I don't really like the font I'm using right now for the comic though... I've been trying to find a similar looking font that doesn't look as bad but isn't round looking.





Thanks, man. I'll try to post more!