So, here's my thread. And here are my ideas.

My main aim is to make an ongoing webcomicy-manga and post it up on Smackjeeves or something; and I've got 3 general ideas mapped up in my head. Here, I'll post the general sypnosis of those stories.

I'm a lazy little person, so making several projects at once will probably blow up my brain. So, if you, the (probably) kind reader, could vote which one you think is the best, I'll be a very happy Doctor.

Critique and reviews are music to my ears. Be as hard and rough as you like. That did NOT sound right.

PLOT 1:

The Coffee Shop At The End of The World

The sun has gone out. Earth is now a deserted, dark, mess of a planet. Humanity squirms, clinging on to life. Mr. Scott has lost his contact lenses. It's the end of the world.
In a city made of dust, once known as New York, there is a small hill. On that hill, the lights are on.
And the Coffee Shop at the end of the world is open.

A light-heated, post apocalyptical, black humor story. A sort of parody of all those shows and stories that take the end of civilisation too seriously; but I do plan it to dip into some darker territories.

Early sketches:



PLOT 2:

A General That-Way Direction

Tomo is bored of everything. Bored of the same mind-numbing job at the shop, bored of being mistaken for a man, and ultimately bored of life.
Living in a tiny apartment with her playboy of a cousin who brings home his partners (regardless of genders), going to her work to meet her annoying 'friend' and eating cup noodles everyday, she's given up on life.
And then, she meets the Janitor.

And finds herself running the Tokyo Marathon.

My attempt at the sports, romance and comedy genre. I personally find romance stories and some sports stories extremely tedious and annoying, so I thought I'll spin it with my own take. And thus, this was born.

My favorite, most fleshed out story, but at the same time, I don't think anyone will bother to read this.

And sorry, no picture for this one. ):

PLOT 3:

The Korporation

Yup, it's a criminal organisation.
Hm-hmm, it legal.
That's right, it's run by a lunatic.
No-one knows why.
Yes, it's spelt wrong.
Again, no-one knows why.

In the building with the hole in the wall, behind the heavy mahogany door, there's a world of mayhem, chaos, and endless rattles of gunfire.

You'll never by bored again.

A black comedy adventure, crime story following the adventures of the Boss and his Secretary. My attempt at writing something witty. Also, if I chose to make this, I would absolutely love some co-writers.

Quick Character Sketches:

Boss


Secretary


(Yup, autonomy's wrong in some areas. Art critique is lovely too, by the way, but I don't think this is the place to do so.)

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So, peoples.

Please pick one in the poll above! (Unless they all suck or no-one visits this thread, or if you're just evil).

With Pictures? BLASPHEMY!!

*coughs*

Hmmm. I'm just going to say this (please don't be mad) I don't like your style, but it's good very good. I think the first of second one. Though I'd say the first one since you wouldn't need a co-writer.

Plot 2 sounds like it's the most developed, but Reg would really prefer to see more of this "Coffee Shop". I think it suits your drawing style better, and with your sence of humour it could really go places that the other two couldn't...

As for Bacon's comments towards your style, the ultra anime-esk eyes look a bit out of place. Perhaps it's worth taking a few notes from Vasquezes' work, or weird demi-asian stuff like MuZz?...

I like The Korporation idea, which is why I voted for it, really.

I like the Korporation plot, even though it seems like your first idea would be awesome, too. D: *hard to decide*

I also love your art style. It's like PsiArtist and Pigo in a blender.

in regards to The Coffee Shop at the End of the World

personally i think this is the best idea of the lot, light hearted black humour is always a joy and the premise seems like it would lend it self to shorter plotlines ( e.g focusing more or less on the various patrons of the titular coffee shop similar to somethign like Callahan's Crosstime Saloon) which i personally think works better for the webcomic format your looking into.

in regards to A General That-Way Direction

The title seems clumsy, also i am immediately reminded of what little i know of the movie Run Fat Boy Run. Beyond that although you say it's your most fleshed out story i don't get that impression, mostly i get the impression it's going to be an outwardly clichéd romantic comedy (girl's life is boring, meets person, does something outlandish to prove her love, the live happily ever after. the end) which mostly leaves me wanting to know the unexplained details because your other ideas make something like that seem out of place barring some odd twist. also barring the use of the Tokyo Marathon as a plot device i don't feel the sports angle.

in regards to The Korporation

The explanation leaves me cold, like it's a story for the sake of being a story, but the concept art gives me hope. The logo for the comic/corporation i like, and the concept art gives the impression of a classic 'out there personality & and straight man' combo, a common comedic ploy and cliché, but one that often nets good results. also, and this is slightly more artist critique, but i like how the concept art shows the character along side some kind of 'visual personality tropes' for lack of a better term ( i.e the boss's desk and ash tray, or the Secretary's classic ink well pen and neatly organized paperwork) it gives a much better feel for their personality. as a last note this also seems like it would lend itself much more to the webcomic thing for similar reasons to your first idea

Well that's my two cents (or whatever monetary value this has) at least.

The Coffee Shop at the End of the World's title is kind of like "The restaurant at the end of the universe". The story is different but this really stuck out to me straight away

Thanks for the comments people! Nice to know I'm not talking to myself.

And as for the comments about my drawing style.... I wasn't even aware I had a style. So thanks; finding out I have one is a compliment in its self. Also, Reg, thanks for the recommendations, I'll try and look into them.

@ Bardic Dragon- Special gratitude goes to you for a big wall of crit all for me. Very, very useful. The only thing I didn't really understand was when you said Plot 3 was 'a story for a sake of being a story'- can you explain what that means?
Oh, and yeah, and I put the ashtray and the fountain pen there for a visual personality trope. It wasn't like I was lazy and I felt like filling in blank spaces for no reason or anything.

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More early drawings scribbled ages ago. I would love to post them all at once, but my scanner seems to be allergic to over 2 or 3 pieces of paper in a day....

More random sketches for 'The Korporation':


The 'missing' early sketch for 'A General That Way Direction':


A little note, the names, 'Tomo', 'Taka', 'Tatsu' are all shortened Japanese names from 'Tomoko', 'Takaya' and 'Tatsuya' respectively. I've shrank them to make the story sound a little less weeboish.

Loving the criticisms and your opinions! Keep 'em coming, boys and girls.

Mostly i was getting at the opening bit of your tag line/description where you seem to dismiss the questions (e.g "That's right, it's run by a lunatic. No-one knows why.") which feels like a setup that that doesn't whole follow through. this isn't exactly a bad thing, especially if your looking for a largely comedic comic; for example Baby, Please Kill Me has a setup that it never explains (why is one school girl a trained assassin, and why does this other girl keep being her friend even though she keeps getting hurt) but it's still a funny series.

at least thats more or less what i was talking about, what exactly i meant is eluding me sadly.

as for the newer stuff. gotta say you have a knack for the logo for A General that way direction isn't as just straight out appealing as the one for The Korporation but gives a lot very silly goose personality and actually sells me on the name (which i previously thought was clumsy) also if your trying to avoid sounding weeaboish the names should be less of a concern (if it's set in japan the characters are more likely that not going to have Japanese names) and more of the setting as what you've told us could happen in any metropolitan city that could host a marathon so the seemingly arbitrary use of Tokyo could be seen as weeaboish ( didn't set off any alarms in my head but i really don't have much of a weeabo sensor)

also, even though you mentioned the hole in the wall in your The Korporation overview i just kind of glossed over and ignored that detail but seeing what you were getting at visually really sells th concept. gives the story a strong and recognizable set piece

So, the kind people of MT have voted, and thus, Idea 1, 'The Coffee Shop at the End of the World' has won.

After weeks of rewriting, being lazy, redrawing, deciding that playing the new pokemon game would be a better way to spend my sunday and then sleeping for the rest of it, the draft of the first chapter is finally done.

Yay.

God, I hate paneling. And pacing. I even got bored of drawing at some point.

Okay. I'm rambling. I should probably stop.

Anyway, here's a small preview.



It was originally a character sheet, but I sort of got distracted. You can particularly see the effort gradually fades away the more you move right. And, oh, I hate hands so much. I hope I'll get the first few pages up here soon.

Anyone who can spot the Jubeh reference gets a free cookie.

DAMN YOU FOR LIVING IN JAPAN!!

Looking good man, but the waiter looks too tall. I don't know, just keep up the good work. The destroyed building was particullarly good, and even though this was the most popular idea, it will probably be the hardest to keep interesting.

"Can I borrow some money?"
So Dr. Pumpkin? Can I?

No.

But you can have a free cookie.

Oh cool.

I honestly should start posting my pages or this thread's just gonna become an art dump.

Anyway, here's a character sheet.



It's not a very good character sheet as it sort of fails in its purpose.

My pen nib broke as I finished the picture on the left, hence the pencilness of the right side. It wasn't because I was lazy, honest.

Crits would be lovely, but this is just sort of a preview posting. And also, my character needs a name. I would love help on that. You get my love if you help on that.

For now, I'm calling him Bilbo. For reasons undisclosed.