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 Post subject: Bully
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 9:45 am 
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Well everyone knows what is a bully and what his job/carrear. So why don't we speak about what do you guys think about this, how people should take care of them and if they should (should teacher stand up for their students or the students stand up for themselfs).

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 Post subject: Re: Bully
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 9:47 am 
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If you're the one getting bullied it's often hard to stand up for yourself. Hence why you are being bullied

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 Post subject: Re: Bully
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 9:52 am 
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Well to stop being bullied you have to show how badass you are. Read up on this for an example of how to do it properly.

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 Post subject: Re: Bully
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 10:06 am 
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A person has to want to be helped, before they can be helped. I realized this was even true for bullying when I tried on multiple occasions to get the kid to stand up for himself. I tried to get my cousin to stick up for himself, because I knew his brother damn sure wasn't going to do it, and I won't always be there to protect him (Like I am no where in the same city now.) Even though I am not one to physically interfere with a bully situation as it may create a dependency on them to come to me for protection. I am not beyond helping someone if they are being bullied by more then one person, or even teaching them how to fight back.

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 Post subject: Re: Bully
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 10:15 am 
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Look, I'm telling you, you don't just fight back against bullies. "They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue."

Put a bullet through the fucker's brain.

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 Post subject: Re: Bully
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 10:35 am 
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Then you go to prison for the rest of your life, while he is only in for several years.

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 Post subject: Re: Bully
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 10:43 am 
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No... you go to prison for life, probably down to 15 with good behaviour, and he ends up dead forever. It's a good deal, if you hate them that much.

Note that I don't actually want this dude to go and kill people. That would be very bad.

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Last edited by Delphinus on Tue Oct 26, 2010 10:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Bully
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 10:44 am 
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Blackmage wrote:
A person has to want to be helped, before they can be helped. I realized this was even true for bullying when I tried on multiple occasions to get the kid to stand up for himself. I tried to get my cousin to stick up for himself, because I knew his brother damn sure wasn't going to do it, and I won't always be there to protect him (Like I am no where in the same city now.) Even though I am not one to physically interfere with a bully situation as it may create a dependency on them to come to me for protection. I am not beyond helping someone if they are being bullied by more then one person, or even teaching them how to fight back.


This is terrible advice @_@

If someone is bullying you should deal with the problem in a way that doesn't involve 'getting back' at them. Either go to Admin if it's the school, go to the police if it's outside of school and generally just ignore/avoid them.

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 Post subject: Re: Bully
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 10:52 am 
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Lord Windy wrote:
If someone is bullying you should deal with the problem in a way that doesn't involve 'getting back' at them. Either go to Admin if it's the school, go to the police if it's outside of school and generally just ignore/avoid them.

This is a very middle-class response. Honestly, that never works, because it assumes that the person bullying you has any sort of respect for authority, and that authority cares. Most of the time authority doesn't care: in the rare cases it does, it will, at most, issue a warning, which no self-respecting bully will give a shit about. So the best way is really just to show them that you're not a good target for bullying, which can take the form of violence, or something a tad less plebeian, like public humiliation.

I'd advise doing something which severely harms them but which you won't get in trouble for. Like slowly undermining their status and destroying their authority, making their friends hate them, or exposing something repulsive about them. All nasty and rather classy, but impossible to be punished for.

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Last edited by Delphinus on Tue Oct 26, 2010 10:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Bully
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 10:55 am 
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Delphinus wrote:
No... you go to prison for life, probably down to 15 with good behaviour, and he ends up dead forever. It's a good deal, if you hate them that much.

Note that I don't actually want this dude to go and kill people. That would be very bad.


You said one of his. You didn't say the main bully.

But yeah, that would be very bad.

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 Post subject: Re: Bully
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 11:06 am 
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Truth is, if you're being bullied in the first place, you've already shown some sort of vulnerability (many, but not all the time), and it's hard to get back to that stable state where nobody screws with you.


For instance. It's not bullying, but is definitely a form of manipulation:
I have an associate (a friend of friends, whom we've found out is no longer anyone's friend) who is pretty much a psych patient. Dead serious. She is a hypochondriac who has lied about autoimmune disorders, et cetera. She now has what she calls Tourettes syndrome, but she can't get a single doctor to diagnose it (hahaha). She is drug and attention-seeking, to be perfectly honest. Hyped out on all these meds, she only takes them every other day and has no developed some sort of tic disorder (that's still not related to Tourette's, mind you) and want people to feel bad for her. Uhhh. Yeah.

When you silly goose around with meds you don't need, that's obviously gonna happen, Captain Obvious.

She hangs around my friends and I, always wanting to drag attention back to herself and her disorder/s. I just kinda look at her for a second and keep talking, but for some reason, everyone else will get guilt-tripped into talking to her about her health, even they don't want to. She will make people go out of their way to take her unnecessary places. About a mile away is the train station, and she called someone who had gotten out of the hospital for some sort of gastrointestinal just the day before to give her a ride. She'll invite herself places where she's not wanted. All in all, she's a manipulator.

Again, I reiterate. I don't play along and just say no. Simple as that. I don't need people elbowing their way into my life that will only cause me trouble. I don't have time for that sort of garbage. You know what she does to me? Nothing. She's figured out that I don't care about whatever scheme she comes up with next, because it won't work on or have an effect on me.

Other people are a different story, though. Somehow a majority of people I know have been tangled up in catering to her antics, and they are just being continually harassed and used by her, just because they can't say no. It's getting continually more difficult, because they've already submitted themselves more than once to her game. It'll only get more and more difficult to get her of their backs, because it's only a downward slope from there.


So. In short: once people identify your weakness, it's going to be extremely difficult to get them off your case. The faster you shut down people who do attack your weakness, the easier it is to get out.

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 Post subject: Re: Bully
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 12:06 pm 
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And the point of that lengthy speech on "manipulation" is to do with what exactly?! Manipulation and bullying are two different things. That girl seems to have serious problems and it seems that you're not treating her as a human being but someone lower than yourself. Maybe if you try to communicate with her as if she's a person, then you might get somewhere. Attention seekers do just that, they attention seek, but it doesn't mean you simply don't give them what they want. Give them attention, but the -right- attention, and you might find she's not as bad as what you make out she is. As for your friends, they're being "tangled up in catering to her antics". Who is that really affecting? You or them? It seems you're more silly goose off about this than they actually are, but I may be wrong. Nevertheless, if it bothers them that much, it's up to them to sort it out, not -you-. Don't take their problems on as your own. Also, the thing that really prompted me to reply to your post is the "psych patient" comment. So if she is indeed a 'psych patient' (and I hate that term soooo much) then why do you discriminate her so? She's -ill-. Well, she could be, I personally don't know, i'm only responding to what i've read. It seems that all she wants is someone to care, considering the things she has made 'up'. She's stopped talking/bothering you because she's not getting that care that she craves. Not because she realises that you know about any 'scheme' she's created.

I feel I must also mention that no, this is not a personal attack on you. I reply to things that I think I should address, not because I have some weird vendetta against you. That's not the case at all. You have the right to address things you disagree with, so let me do the same without being discriminated as someone who "simply doesn't like you" and "attacks you at every angle".
/endwalloftextplz

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 Post subject: Re: Bully
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 12:16 pm 
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I don't think you have a vendetta against me. :\ I don't know where that came from.

And no, I don't take my friends' problems as my own. They've told me what they think about her, and I'm actually less "silly goose off about this than they actually are".

I disagree with what you're saying about her illness, though. Before any illness actually set in, she was the same socially.

</talk of her>

What I was trying to vaguely outline, though, was that sometimes bullying is used as a form of manipulation, and Clock wanted to know how some people take care of situations like this. (That, and it's better than any sort of Columbine attempt, lol.)



Edit: Typos, ugggh.

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Last edited by Celestial-Fox on Tue Oct 26, 2010 12:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Bully
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 12:18 pm 
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Lord Windy wrote:
Blackmage wrote:
A person has to want to be helped, before they can be helped. I realized this was even true for bullying when I tried on multiple occasions to get the kid to stand up for himself. I tried to get my cousin to stick up for himself, because I knew his brother damn sure wasn't going to do it, and I won't always be there to protect him (Like I am no where in the same city now.) Even though I am not one to physically interfere with a bully situation as it may create a dependency on them to come to me for protection. I am not beyond helping someone if they are being bullied by more then one person, or even teaching them how to fight back.


This is terrible advice @_@

If someone is bullying you should deal with the problem in a way that doesn't involve 'getting back' at them. Either go to Admin if it's the school, go to the police if it's outside of school and generally just ignore/avoid them.

Yea I tried that when I was little, they did nothing but told the parent which didn't do shit. Wasn't until I decided to fight back is when bullies started to back down. The second you show them you aren't afraid of them is when their true nature shows. the will either A, back down because the can only feel good about themselves by picking on someone smaller than them, or B, fight it out and than get life rolling again. If you are underage will do little to nothing to the bully but take them to their parents, and the bullying will continue the next day. School is a worse zone, unless things have changed since I was in school things like telling can easily get you exiled by your other peers. I have actually been in each predicament, from fighting my bully to telling the teacher, and from my experience standing up for yourself and fighting back was the most affective.

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I don't think you have a vendetta against me. :\

Yea, tha its my job! *puts on assassin creed outfit.*

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 Post subject: Re: Bully
PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 12:22 pm 
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Celestial-Fox wrote:
I don't think you have a vendetta against me. :\ I don't know where that came from.


A while back you claimed that I kept attacking you or something. I didn't pay too much attention to it but I just wanted to set the record straight.

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